Am I a Feminist or not a Feminist

by dad4grace

Dear Victoria,

I want to expand on my first post. That you responded to with this blog <a href=”http://feminismformyfather.wordpress.com/2014/06/18/on-fatherhood-making-feminists/
To be honest, you started burning up the blog-a-sphere with your new blog and I had so much to do to get ready for our trip to the coast that I decided to get the blog up with some content and I settled on that quote because it says a lot about how I feel about you and your potential. I’m sorry it “pained you.” There is no getting around it though, you are one of my favorite women, just behind your mom. If it makes you feel any better Nathan and Matthew, for the reader — your brothers, are two of my favorite men.

In your response, you said “it was not to the point and resented some subtle insinuation that feminism had some secret core.” You also stated in your post that feminism was not monolithic. I guess I agree and disagree. It is true that there are different spins of the feminist agenda. However, in the past several decades I have heard other women silenced by feminist because they don’t support the party line. Sometimes they have done it with comments as rude as you have heard uttered on the street by chauvinistic males. The best examples that come to mind are women who support most of what feminism stands for but are pro-life. I have seen them marginalize, and vilified by the feminist movement.

So as a way to help me better understand the feminist movement I am going to share how I have been both considered a feminist and at the same time a patriarch of the worst kind. This first post are the reason why I have been considered a feminist. I think your response to both post will help understand what feminism stands for.

So How am I a feminist? There are several reasons. First, I agree with one of the chief motivating forces of your own feminism, namely that it is entirely inappropriate for men to utter sexual comments to women in public, or for that matter in private , unless the are intimately involved with one another. I also have to add that it is not simply the action but the attitude from which those comments spring. Men should not look at women as primarily sexual objects. When confronted with that attitude it is little wonder that many women become enraged.

Second I believe that women should have equity in all working environments: This includes both work and at home. Hopefully, I back up these opinions with the way I live my life. In my 40+ years of working I have had multiple women bosses that I have respected. Here is a short list:

• Marcia T
• Julie L
• Marta P-G
• Cathie B.

There are more but I mention these four because all four were mentors to me. One I nominated for Bishop. Another I went several hundred miles out of my way to seek her advice. I’ve learned from all of them as well as others. In addition I’ve had multiple women co-workers that I have treated with respect and dignity. I can say now as the senior leader that the women on my staff are some of my closest advisors. In hiring there is no difference between men and women in pay and benefit equity. I also have great admiration for your mother, not just as your mom or my wife but also as a very talented woman in her own right.

Finally, I believe that sexism does exist on a micro-level in the United States and on the macro-level in other parts of the world. Not only do I believe this but also I have acted on those beliefs.

Let me give you two examples: First when I was president of a local Rotary club our international project that year was in Kano Nigeria. The purpose of the project was to teach women to be small business owners. These particular women had been ostracized by their village due to a tear in the fistula, because they had been forced to marry at a very young age. A fistula clinic was established in Kano Nigeria to repair the tears of these young women but also to train them as small business owners so they would not be forced to rely on others. These women have the potential of changing African culture.

Second, our church supports a family homeless shelter for one week 4 times a year. The majority of the guests are women and children. The organization that coordinates between the scores of Churches that are doing this in our metropolitan area is not simply providing a short term fix but working with the women and men in the program to find a job and to obtain a permanent home. I only play a small part in both of these projects but still it means a great deal to me that I am involved with both if only in a small way. I could give you many more examples. I would simple say that the one difference between a feminist and myself is the motivation for getting involved. I am not motivated out of a feminist ideology but as a response to God’s grace in my life and also realizing that these women are beloved of God. Well those are some of the reasons I’ve been consider feminist by some. I will be interested in your response because it will help me understand the contemporary feminist movement

Why am I not a feminist will be in the next post.

Love

Dad